“Marriage Is Scary”: Why Young Indonesians Are Delaying Wedlock

JAKARTA — A growing number of young Indonesians are postponing marriage, reflecting a broader cultural shift in how the institution is viewed. The phrase “marriage is scary,” widely circulated on social media, has come to symbolize a generation increasingly wary of committing before achieving financial and personal stability.

Official data from Indonesia’s Central Statistics Agency (BPS) underscores the trend. The number of marriages has declined markedly, from about 2.01 million couples in 2018 to 1.478 million in 2024. Although there was a slight uptick in 2025, the figure remains significantly below levels seen a decade ago.

At the same time, the proportion of young people aged 16 to 30 who are unmarried has surged. In 2014, roughly 54 percent of this group had not married; by 2025, that figure had climbed to over 71 percent. Conversely, the share of young people who are married has dropped sharply.

Researchers say the shift is not merely cyclical but reflects changing priorities. “Young people are placing greater emphasis on higher education, career development, and financial independence,” said Risda Rizkillah, a researcher at IPB University. “Marriage is no longer seen as an immediate milestone, but as a decision that follows personal stability.”

Economic Pressures Take Center Stage

Financial concerns appear to be the dominant factor behind the delay. A 2024 survey by IDN Research Institute found that 68 percent of millennials and 63 percent of Gen Z respondents cited economic instability, rising living costs, and housing challenges as key reasons for postponing marriage.

These findings align with international research pointing to financial readiness as a critical prerequisite for marriage, particularly in urban settings where the cost of living continues to rise.

Social and psychological factors also play a role. Constant exposure to stories of divorce, domestic violence, and infidelity on digital platforms has contributed to heightened caution among young people considering long-term commitments. Studies suggest that globalization and evolving social norms have further encouraged individuals to prioritize self-fulfillment before entering marriage.

A Global Pattern With Local Consequences

Indonesia is not alone in experiencing this shift. Similar declines in marriage rates have been observed in countries such as the United States, South Korea, and across Europe.

Demographers warn that the trend could have lasting consequences. Delayed marriage often correlates with lower birth rates. Indonesia’s total fertility rate currently stands at around 2.19 children per woman, and a continued decline could accelerate population aging.

This raises concerns about a future in which a shrinking workforce must support a growing elderly population — a scenario often described as “growing old before growing rich.”

Government Response

Indonesian policymakers have begun to take note. Officials from the Ministry of Religious Affairs and BPS have emphasized the need for structural solutions, including better access to education, stable employment, and affordable housing — factors seen as essential for enabling young people to form families.

Despite the delay, marriage remains an important aspiration for many. But for today’s generation, it is increasingly approached with caution, careful planning, and a clear expectation of readiness. []